St. Patrick's Day . . . The Day When
Everybody is Irish
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Potato
Soup
1kg
potatoes 3 onions 6 cups of half milk and
water Chives or parsley Rashers (streaky) Bacon,
to taste Salt and pepper, to taste 1 cup light
cream.
Directions: Chop all above
into chunks, except milk and cream. Put chunks and milk
into a large pot, cover and simmer gently until it goes
to a pulp. Put pulp in a blender and puree, add cream.
Reheat; place parsley or chives on top. Fried crispy
bacon is added to the top on
serving.
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Irish
Potato Soup
2 pounds
butter-yellow potatoes, peeled and quartered 1 large
onion, chopped 2 oz butter 2 pints vegetable
stock 2 pints milk 1 Tablespoon chives or
parsley nutmeg pinch of salt 1 teaspoon
flour
Directions: Melt butter in a
sausepan and add the Potatoes and Onions, cover and
simmer for 10 mins (don't brown veg). Add the Stock,
Salt & Pepper and Nutmeg, Stir. Cover and bring to a
boil stirring continuously. Reduce heat and simmer for
30 mins, until vegetables are soft, stiringr
occasionally.
Remove from
heat and put through a sieve, and return to the
saucepan. Stir in the milk and flour and bring to a
boil, stirring continuously.
Remove from the
heat, serve with a sprinkling of chives or
parsley.
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Coddle
A favourite of
mine, my cooking method is the method my Mother used,
the cook book way takes too long and doesn't taste as
good. - Billie Connolly
Ham or bacon
slices as suit you Onions as required Chopped
parsley Potatoes Salt and pepper Pork
sausages
Directions: Cut ham or bacon
into small pieces. Cut potatoes into quarters. Cut
onions into quarters or leave whole. Put all ingredients
into large boiler. Cover with water. Simmer until it
becomes soupy.
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Corned Beef &
Cabbage
If it
wouldn't be St. Patrick's Day in your house without
Corned Beef & Cabbage, here's an authentic recipe
from Darina Allen's the Festive Food of Ireland. Even
though she points out that it's rarely eaten in
Ireland and was most likely made popular by immigrants
who missed the salted beef of their homeland. Cured beef
was a traditional Easter Sunday dinner; the beef killed
and preserved before winter could then be eaten after
the long Lenten fast.
In the truest sense of the
word then, this really doesn't qualify as a traditional
recipe. But, it has become so closely associated with
the Irish and St. Patrick's Day, we'd be remiss not to
include it.
4-pound corned beef brisket -
'silverside' if you can get it; many butchers are
familiar with the term and can prepare your cut of
brisket in this special way. But, do allow them several
days to prepare it properly. 3 large carrots, cut
into large chunks 6 to 8 small onions, roughly
chopped 1 teaspoon powdered English mustard 1
large spring of fresh thyme and several parsley stalks
tied together 1 cabbage Salt and pepper to
taste
Directions: Put the corned beef into a
large pot with the carrots, onions, mustard powder and
herbs.
Cover with cold water; bring to a boil and
then lower heat and simmer for 1 hour. From time to
time, skim fat from top as it rises.
Discard the
outer leaves of the cabbage and cut into quarters, Add
to the pot. * Cook for another one to two hours or until
the meat and vegetables are tender.
Serve the
corned beef cut into slices and surrounded by the
vegetables. Serve with a generous amount of potatoes,
boiled in their jackets and freshly made mustard.
(We use Colman's which is readily available). In
addition to the English mustard we also like the
following horseradish sauce. Recipe
below.
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Horseradish Sauce
1/2 pt Whipping
Cream 2 tablespoons prepared
horseradish
Directions: Whip cream until
it stand in peaks. Fold in horseradish.
Note: We prefer our cabbage
crispy firm, so, we cook it separately. Cooked quickly
in boiling water, it retains its beautiful bright green
color. We season it heavily with fresh ground pepper and
we don't go easy on the butter!
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Irish Dumpling
Stew
4 medium golden
yellow potatoes 2 pounds stew meat, lamb or
beef 1/2 cup flour 2 onions, chopped 2 carrots,
chopped 2 tomatoes, peeled and chopped 1 clove
garlic, minced 1 large bunch of mixed herbs (thyme,
rosemary, sage), tied with a string 1 1/2 cups beef
broth salt & pepper to taste
Coat meat in
flour, then brown in oil in a skillet. Add onions and
garlic and saute. Place browned meat, onions and
vegetables in large cooking pot. Place herbs in middle
of mixture. Cover with broth, cook 2 hours over low
heat. While stew is cooking, make dumplings. During last
20 minutes of cooking, add dumplings. Salt and pepper to
taste.
Dumplings
6
cups self-rising flour 1 cup fresh bread crumbs 1
tablespoon mixed herbs 1/4 cup solid shortening 1
egg, beaten Broth or water Salt and pepper to
taste
Directions: Mix dry
ingredients, then add shortening and egg, mixing
thoroughly. Divide mixture into small pieces, roll into
even rounds between floured hands. Cook in boiling water
or broth for 15 minutes. Add to stew 20 minutes before
stew is done.
Serves 6
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Irish Roast Pork with Potato
Stuffing
2 pounds pork
tenderloin, or 6 to 8 boneless lean pork chops 2
tablespoons butter 2 tablespoons hard cider (apple
wine) or water stuffing (see below) salt and
pepper
Directions: Make stuffing.
Rub meat with salt, pepper and butter. Pour cider or
water into 3 -quart casserole dish. Place meat along
edges of dish. Place stuffing in center of pan. Cover
loosely with foil and bake 1 hour at 350
degrees.
Stuffing
4 1/2 cups MountainKing® Gold
Potatoes or MountainKing Butter Red Potatoes, coarsely
mashed 1/4 cup butter 1 onion 2 large cooking
apples, chopped 1 handful chopped fresh sage and
thyme Salt and pepper
Directions: To
potatoes, add butter, onion, apples, herbs, salt and
pepper. Mix well.
Serves 6
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Irish
Cabbage Rolls
1
lb lean ground beef 1/2 head of cabbage, shredded
1 medium onion, chopped 1 envelope onion soup
mix 1/8 teaspoon pepper 2 loaves frozen bread
dough,
thawed
Directions: Brown
ground beef and onion in a large skillet: Drain off fat.
Add cabbage, soup mix and pepper during the last five
minutes of cooking. Set aside.
Roll one loaf of
bread dough into an 8" x 16" rectangle, then cut into
eight 4-inch squares. Spoon mixture into center of each
square, bring up diagonal points, pinching edges closed.
Let cabbage rolls rise on a greased cookie sheet for
about 10 minutes.
Preheat the oven to 350
degrees F. Bake for 20 minutes or until brown. Brush
tops of warm rolls with margarine or butter if desired.
Repeat process with second loaf of bread and
remaining mixture. This can be frozen and reheated 1 1/2
minutes in a microwave oven.
Makes 16
servings.
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Irish
Beef in Guiness
4 russet, red
or butter yellow potatoes 2 1/2 lb beef stew meat
2 large onions 6 medium carrots 2 tbsp
seasoned flour 1 tablespoon bacon fat or beef
dripping 1 cup of Guiness and water mixed sprig
of parsley
Directions: Cut the beef
into chunks and peel and slice the onions and
carrots. Toss the beef in the flour and brown
quickly in hot fat. Remove the beef and fry the onions
gently until transparent.
Return the beef
and add the carrots, potatoes and liquid. Bring just to
a boil, reduce the heat to a very gentle simmer, cover
and cook for 1 1/2 - 2 hours.
Check that the
dish does not dry out, adding more liquid if
necessary.
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Cabbage Cooked in Milk
1
quart shredded cabbage 1 1/2 cups milk 2
tablespoons flour 1 tablespoon cooking oil 1/4
teaspoon salt dash of pepper
Directions: Add cabbage to
milk and simmer for two minutes. Mix the flour and oil
and add a little of the hot milk to it. Blend. Stir the
milk and flour mixture into the cabbage and cook for
three or four minutes or until thickened, stirring
constantly. Season with salt and pepper. Makes six
servings.
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Irish
Colcannon
6 medium-large golden
yellow potatoes, peeled and quartered 4 cups diced
savoy cabbage (green cabbage can be substituted) 1
onion, finely chopped or 2 leeks chopped, whites
only 1 cup warm
milk 1/4 cup butter salt and pepper to
taste
Directions: Boil potatoes until tender when pierced
with a fork—about 20 minutes. Meanwhile, steam cabbage
and leeks for 5 minutes. Mash potatoes, add milk,
butter, cabbage, leeks, salt and pepper to taste. Serve
immediately.
Serve colcannon hot as a
side dish.
Serves
6
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Irish
Champ
4 pounds
quartered golden yellow potatoes 1 cup chopped
scallions 1 cup milk 3/4 cup shredded cheddar
cheese 1 stick butter, melted pepper to taste
Champ is served
piled high on the dish, with a well of melted butter in
the center. It is eaten with a spoon from the outside,
each spoonful being dipped in the well of melted
butter.
Directions: Cook potatoes in
boiling water 10-12 minutes or until tender. Simmer milk
and scallions together for five minutes.
Strain
potatoes and mash thoroughly. Add hot milk, and the
scallions, salt and pepper, and half the butter.
Scoop a heaping portion of potatoes on each
plate. Depress the center making a cavity and drizzle
the remaining butter into the center of each portion.
Serve immediately.
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Barm
Brack
Cream the yeast and
the sugar and allow to froth up in the milk, which
should be at blood heat. Sieve the flour, caster sugar
and spice and rub in the butter. Make a well in the
centre and add the yeast mixture and the egg, beaten.
Beat with a wooden spoon for about 10 minutes until a
good dough forms. The fruit and the salt should be
worked in by hand; the gold ring wrapped in greaseproof
paper should then be added, and the whole kneaded. Put
in a warm bowl, cover and allow to rise in a warm place
for about an hour until doubled in size.
1/4
pt/ 125 ml/ 1/2 cup lukewarm milk 1 tsp sugar 1
tsp fresh yeast 8 oz/ 250 g/ 2 cups plain flour 1
tsp mixed spice, pinch salt 1 egg, 3 tbsp
butter 6 oz/ 200 g/ 2 cups mixed fruit (currants,
sultanas, raisins, candied peel) 1 gold ring (in
greaseproof paper) 2 oz/50 g/2 tbsp caster
sugar
Directions: Knead lightly
and place in a lightly-greased 7 in /15 cm diameter cake
tin and allow a further 30 minutes rising time.
Bake near the top of a pre-heated oven at gas
mark 6, 400°F, 200°C for 45 minutes. On removing from the oven the brack
can be glazed with a syrup made from 2 tsp sugar
dissolved in 3 tsp boiling water.
From the Appletree Press
title:
A Little Irish
Cookbook
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Spotted
Dog
This is the
traditional Irish fruit bread, also called Sweet Cake,
Curnie Cake, Spotted Dick or Railway Cake depending on
the area.
4 C plain white
flour 2 teaspoons sugar 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2
teaspoon baking soda 1/2 C raisins, currants or
sultanas 1 1/2 C milk or buttermilk 1 egg
(optional, you will not need all the milk if you use the
egg)
Directions: Sift the dry
ingredients, add the fruit and mix well.
Make a well in
the center and add the egg if you are using it, and most
of the milk. Using one hand, mix in the flour from the
sides of the bowl, adding more milk if necessary. The
dough should be softish but not too wet and sticky. When
it all comes together, turn it out onto a floured board
and knead lightly for a few seconds - just long to tidy
it up.
Pat the dough
into a round about 1 1/2 inches deep and cut a deep
cross in it (to let the faeries out!). Let the cuts go
over the sides of the bread.
Bake in a
preheated 450 degree F oven for 15 minutes, then turn
the oven down to 400 degrees F and bake for another 30
minutes or until cooked. If you are in doubt, tap the
bottom: it will sound hollow when cooked.
Serve freshly
baked, cut into thick slices and spread with
butter.
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Red Cabbage and
Pineapple
6
cups shredded red cabbage 1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/2 cup boiling water 1 tablespoon butter or
margarine 2 tablespoons brown sugar 1 tablespoon
cornstarch 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 (9 oz.) can
pineapple tidbits 2 tablespoons
vinegar
Directions: Place
cabbage, lemon juice and boiling water in skillet. Cover
and cook, stirring once or twice, until cabbage is
tender, 10 to 12 minutes. Stir in butter.
Meanwhile, blend together brown sugar,
cornstarch and salt. Drain juice from pineapple and
blend into cornstarch mixture along with vinegar. Add
cornstarch mixture and pineapple bits to cabbage. Cook,
stirring, until mixture thickens and bubbles. Serve hot.
Makes six servings.
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Cabbage
With Apples
1
head cabbage 1 red apple, cored and sliced 1/2
cup sour cream 1 tablespoon butter or margarine
1/2 teaspoon salt 3 tablespoons lemon
juice
Directions: Cut the cabbage
into six wedges. Cook in a small amount of boiling
salted water for seven minutes. Add apple. Cook about
three minutes more, until tender. Drain.
Combine
remaining ingredients. Heat through, but do not boil.
Pour over cabbage. Serve hot.
Serves
6
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Irish
Scones
3 cups white flour 1/2
teaspoon baking soda 2 teaspoons cream of tartar
1/2 cup butter, softened 2 tablespoons sugar
1/2 cup milk or buttermilk 1 cup raisins or
other dried fruit Egg wash, to brush scones
Directions: Preheat oven to
400 degrees. In a large bowl, sift together flour,
baking soda, and cream of tartar.
Add
softened butter and sugar, mix well. Stir in milk or
buttermilk. Also stir in raisins or dried fruit.
Press
dough onto a floured surface and roll out gently to
1/2-inch thickness. Cut scones into round shapes or
triangles.
Brush scones with egg wash for shine.
Bake for 20 minutes or until golden brown.
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Irish Raisin Cake
Recipe
2 1/2 cups buttermilk 2 cups
sugar 5 cups flour 1/2 pound butter 5 eggs 1
tsp. each: cinnamon, nutmeg and allspice 2 tsp.
baking soda dash of salt 1 (16-oz. box) brown
raisins 1 (16-oz.) box golden raisins 1/2
cup whiskey, optional
Directions: Preheat oven to
325 degrees and grease a Dutch Oven.
Cream sugar
and butter in large bowl. Add eggs one at a time. Add
seasonings. Mix baking soda into the buttermilk.
Alternate adding flour, buttermilk and raisins into mix.
Bake for 2 1/2 to 3 hours in covered Dutch Oven.
Cake is finished when knife inserted into middle comes
out clean.
Optional - pour whiskey over cake
immediately after removing from oven. Cake is best when
cut after a few days.
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Glazed
Irish Tea Cake
Cake: 3/4
cup butter- room temperature 1 cup Sugar 2 t. pure
Vanilla extract 2 large Eggs 3 ounce Cream cheese-
room temperature 1-3/4 C. Cake flour 1-1/4 t.
Baking powder 1/4 tsp Salt 1 cup Dried currants
(or dates) 2/3 cup Buttermilk
Glaze: 1/2
cup Confectioners' sugar, sifted 2 t. Fresh lemon
juice
Directions: Preheat oven to
325F, with rack in center of oven. Generously grease a
9-inch (7-cup capacity) loaf pan. Dust with flour; tap
pan over sink to discard excess flour. Cut piece of
parchment paper or waxed paper to fit bottom of pan. Set
aside.
FOR CAKE, use
mixer to cream butter, sugar and vanilla until fluffy.
Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating each until fluffy. Add
cream cheese. Mix until well combined. Sift flour,
baking powder and salt together. Put currants (or dates)
in small bowl. Add 1/4 cup of flour mixture to currant
and stir until well coated. Add remaining flour to
batter, alternating with buttermilk. Mix until smooth.
Use wooden
spoon to stir in currants and all of the flour. Stir
until well combined. Transfer batter to prepared pan.
Smooth surface with spatula. Bake until well-browned and
toothpick inserted into center comes out clean, about 1
hour, 25 minutes (time will vary with individual ovens).
Cake will crack on top. Let cake rest in pan for 10
minutes.
Use flexible
metal spatula to separate cake from sides of pan.
Carefully remove cake from pan to cooling rack. Spread
glaze on warm cake. Let cake cool completely. Cake
can be stored 3 days at room temperature in foil. Cake
can also be frozen up to 3 months, wrapped airtight.
FOR GLAZE,
combine sugar and lemon juice in small bowl. Stir until
smooth.
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Chocolate Irish Cream
Fondue
9 ounces
baker's semi-sweet baking chocolate 1/4
cup light cream or heavy cream 1/4
cup Bailey's Irish Cream
Dippers
cake, cubed banana chunks
strawberries, etc.
Directions: In
saucepan combine all ingredients.
Stir on low
heat until the chocolate has melted& is
smoothy.
Serve in a
chafing dish over low heat.
Dip dipper in
sauce.
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Irish Potato Apple
Cake
4 Russet, red
or butter yellow potatoes cut into 2-inch pieces 2
tablespoons butter 1 tablespoon sugar 1/4
teaspoon ground ginger 3/4 cup all-purpose flour,
sifted 4 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, and
sliced 2 tablespoons butter 1/2 cup firmly
packed brown sugar
Directions: Preheat oven to
425°F. Lightly grease an 8-inch pie plate.
Cook the
potatoes in boiling salted water until tender, 12 to 15
minutes. Drain and mash. Add butter, sugar, and ginger
and mix well. Stir in the flour to make a soft dough.
On a lightly
floured board, form the dough into a ball and divide in
half. Roll half into a 8-inch-diameter circle and fit
into the prepared pie plate. Arrange the apple slices by
overlapping them in 2 concentric circles over the dough.
Moisten the edges with cold water.
Roll out the
remaining dough into an 8-inch circle and place it on
top of the apples. Press the edges together and flute
them to make a standing edge. With a sharp knife, make 4
or 5 slits on top to allow steam to escape. Bake
until crust is browned, 25 to 30 minutes.
Remove from
oven and cut a 2-inch circle in the top pastry to make a
lid. Remove this carefully, add the butter and brown
sugar, and replace the lid. Return to the oven and
continue to bake until the butter and sugar have melted,
about 5 minutes.
Slice and serve
immediately, with whipped cream, or a dusting of
confectioners' sugar, if you like.
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Irish
Coffee Ice Cream
2 eggs, 2
cups skim milk 1 cup brown sugar, 2 teaspoons vanilla
extract 4 tablespoons instant coffee powder, 1/2 cup
Irish whiskey or brandy 2 cups whipped cream or
Dream Whip
Directions: Combine eggs,
sugar, milk, and coffee. Cook and stir over medium low
heat until sugar dissolves and mixture is slightly
thickened.
Remove from heat, stir in whiskey.
Cool to room temperature. Stir in vanilla and whipped
cream. Pour into canister. Freeze according to ice cream
maker directions.
Makes 2 quarts.
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Sheridan’s Irish Coffee
Heat a
stemmed whisky glass by running it under hot water. Add
1 cup of hot coffee and 1 1/2 ounces of Irish Mist
liqueur. Top with whipped cream.
Whisky Version:
Pour
coffee in a heated glass. Add three sugar cubes and one
jigger of whiskey. Add whipped cream to top.
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St. Patrick's Day Pistachio
Cupcakes
1 3/4 cups
all-purpose flour 1 box instant pistachio pudding mix
2/3 cup sugar 2 1/2 teaspoons baking
powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 eggs 1 teaspoon
vanilla 1 1/4 cups milk 1/2 cup vegetable
oil green food coloring 1 cup of green vanilla
frosting
Directions: In a large bowl,
stir together dry ingredients.
In a small bowl,
combine the eggs, milk, oil and vanilla. Stir in your
small bowl of liquid ingredients into dry ingredients.
Add green food coloring a little at a time until you
achieve your desired shade of green. Pour cupcake
mixture into greased cupcake pan about 2/3 full.
Bake at 375 degrees F for 18
to 20 minutes or until golden brown. While cupcakes are
baking make frosting.
Green
Vanilla Frosting
1 cup margarine 2 teaspoons
vanilla 4 cups confectionary sugar (sifted) 4
tablespoons milk green food
coloring
Directions: Mix margarine,
milk, and vanilla with fork or electric mixer. Slowly
add confectionary sugar and green food coloring a little
at a time while mixing. Keep adding confectionary sugar
and mixing until you reach desired consistency for
frosting.
Let cupcakes cool on rack. Then frost with
green vanilla frosting.
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Guinness Crock Pot Beef
Stew
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4 lbs. Beef
Chuck for stew 1 lb. carrots 12 potatoes Celery
stalks 4 Large onions 6 12 oz. cans beef
broth 3 12 oz. bottles Guinness
beer Cornstarch
Directions: Cut beef into
1-inch cubes, add beef and Guinness into crock pot and
cook on low for 4 hours or until cooked
through.
After the beef has cooked for 3
1/2 hours in the crock pot, cut veggies into
1-inch cubes / pieces and cook in a large pot on the
stove until almost done. Add beef
and broth in large pot with vegetables
and cook on low heat for 30 minutes more or
until veggies are done to your
taste.
Stir 3 heaping
tablespoons of cornstarch into a small amount of cold
water. Stir until dissolved and add to stew. Allow stew
to sit for 5 - 10 minutes and check for thickness.
Ladle onto platter and serve
hot.
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Apple-Barley
Pudding
4 Tbsp. Pearl barley 1 1/2 pound apples
Peeled, cored and sliced 3 Tbsp. Sugar 1 Tbsp.
lemon juice 3/4 cup heavy cream
Directions: Put the barley
in the water and bring to the boil.
Add the
sliced apples and continue cooking gently until the
barley and apples are soft. Drain the water.
Press the apples and barley through a sieve, or
put through the blender, and put back in the
saucepan.
Add the sugar and lemon juice and bring
to the boil again. Remove from the heat, allow to cool,
and then chill.
Serving Suggestions: Serve cool with the
cream stirred in.
Additional Comments: Recipe adapted from
the Appletree Press title: A Little Irish
Cookbook.
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Quick St. Patrick's
Day Treats By: Susanne
Myers
Celebrate St. Patrick’s
Day this year with some of these fun and of course
mostly green St. Patrick’s Day Treats.
Leprechaun Ale
Place a
scoop of lime sherbet into a tall glass, pour ginger ale
over it and watch it fizz. This can be made even fancier
by rubbing some lime juice on the rim of the glass and
then dipping it in green sugar crystals before you pour
the leprechaun ale.
Lucky Clover
Cake
Prepare 9 x 13 inch cake using a
boxed cake mix. We like to use yellow cake for this. Get
a can of vanilla frosting and use a few drops of yellow
and blue food coloring to color the frosting green.
After the cake is baked and cooled down, cut three heart
shaped pieces out of the cake. We use a cardboard
template to make the hearts even. Arrange them on a
plate with the pointy ends pointing toward each other.
It will look like a clover leaf. Frost the entire cake
with the green vanilla frosting.
Mini
Mint Ice Cream Tarts
Purchase a roll of
refrigerated sugar cookie dough. Roll the dough into
small balls (a little smaller than a golf ball), and
press them in the bottoms of mini muffin pans. Bake
according to package directions. Press the middle of the
cooked dough down after you take them out of the oven.
Let them cool for 10 minutes, then transfer them to a
baking rack and let them cool completely. To serve,
scoop mint ice cream in each of your mini tart shells.
St. Patrick’s Day
Cookies
Buy or make simple sugar cookie
dough. Let the kids cut out shamrock shaped cookies with
a cookie cutter. Bake them. While they are cooling, use
food coloring to turn vanilla frosting or a simple
powered sugar and milk glaze green. Let the kids
decorate the cookies with frosting and plenty of green
sprinkles.
St. Patrick’s Day
Parfait
Prepare a pack of instant
pistachio pudding according to package directions. Mix a
few drops of food coloring with cool whip to tint it
green. Cut up some kiwi fruit. Layer chilled pudding,
kiwi fruit and green cool whip for a completely green
St. Patrick’s Day Parfait.
Are you seeing green
yet? Give a few of these yummy sweet St. Patrick’s Day
treats a try this year. They are always a big hit with
our families.
Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com
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"May the
leprechauns be near you, To spread luck along your
way. May all the Irish angels, Smile upon you on
St. Patrick's Day."
I hope
you enjoy this week's Irish recipes and Irish
humor. Be sure to visit
our St. Patrick's Day Tribute . . . It's a
hoot!
Before you leave
today, I invite you to share one of your
favorite recipes, short cuts or tips with us.
You can either mail it to me (3205 Whipple Road, Union
City, CA 94587), fax it (510-429-9229), email
it to me or put it on the form, whichever works
best for you.
Have
a good week . . .
Joanne Your San Francisco
Bay Area Real Estate Broker and food lover
When
it's time to sell your San Fancisco Bay Area home,
be contact
me
Joanne L. Gardiner, Broker,
e-PRO
Advantage
Realty Advantage Mortgage Associates 3205 Whipple
Road - Union City, California
94587
(510)
429-4800 San Francisco Bay Area Real
Estate San Francisco Real Estate on the East
Bay
website:
http://www.joannegardiner.com
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~ Irish Toast
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"May you be in heaven a half-hour before
the devil knows you're dead."
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Recipe Links
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Cooking for St. Patricks Day
is always more fun when you can choose
from authentic Irish Recipes . . .
Irish Kitchen Index
Irish Recipe Collection
Kirwilli's Kitchen
Irish Dessert Recipes
Ireland Eyes Traditions, cooking and
travel
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~ Irish Humor
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"Seamus, do you understand French?"
"I do if
its spoken in Irish."
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Q.
Why did God invent
whiskey?
A. So the Irish would never
rule the world.
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"If you
can guess how many potatoes I've got in this bag you can
have both of them."
"Six?"
"No, but
you're only three out.
Four!"
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"Hey, Angus, look out the window and see
if my turning indicator's
working."
"Yes...no...yes...no...yes..."
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Written on top of Irish
ladders is the word . . .
"stop."
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"Fergus, why do
you Irish drink?"
"It gives us something to
do while we're getting drunk."
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An Irish
kamikaze pilot flew 48 sucessful
missions.
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Q. What
is Irish diplomacy?
A.
It's the ability to tell a man to go to hell in
such a way that he will look forward to
making the trip
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Irish Humor |
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Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat
because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a
parking place. Looking up to heaven he said,
"Lord take pity on me. If you find me a
parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the
rest of me life and give up me Irish
Whiskey!"
Miraculously, a parking place
appeared.
Paddy
looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found
one."

Father
Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the
first man he meets, "Do you want to go to
heaven?"
The man
said, "I do, Father."
The
priest said, "Then stand over there against the
wall."
Then
the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to
heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's
reply.
"Then
stand over there against the wall," said the
priest.
Then
Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you
want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole
said, "No, I don't Father."
The
priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean
to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to
heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die,
yes. I thought you were getting a group
together to go right now."

Paddy was in New York
and was patiently waiting and watching the
traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The
cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay,
pedestrians." Then he'd allow the traffic to
pass.
He'd done this several times, and Paddy
still stood on the sidewalk.
After the cop had shouted, "Pedestrians!"
for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is
it not about time ye let the Catholics
across?"

Gallagher opened the
morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the
obituary column that he had died. He quickly
phoned his best friend, Finney.
"Did you see the paper?"
asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied
Finney. "Where are ye callin'
from?"

An Irish priest is
driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding
in Connecticut The state trooper smells
alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty
wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you
been drinking?"
"Just water," says the
priest.
The trooper says, "Then
why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the
bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it
again!"

Walking into the bar,
Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one
- just had another fight with the little
woman."
"Oh yeah?" said Charlie,
"And how did this one end?"
"When it was over," Mike
replied, "She came to me on her hands and
knees.
"Really," said Charles,
"Now that's a switch! What did she
say?"
She said, "Come out from
under the bed, you little chicken."

Flynn staggered home very
late after another evening with his drinking buddy,
Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking
his wife, Mary.
He tiptoed as quietly as
he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs
bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As
he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body
swung around and he landed heavily on his
rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket
broke and made the landing especially
painful.
Managing not to yell,
Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in
the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and
bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full
box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he
could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now
almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his
way to bed.
In the morning, Flynn
woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and
Mary staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk
again last night weren't you?"
Flynn said, "Why you say
such a mean thing?"
"Well," Mary said, "it
could be the open front door, it could be the broken
glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops
of blood trailing through the house, it could be your
bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids
stuck on the hall mirror.
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