Coffee Break 93 February 25, 2007 Gung Hay Fat Choy! or is it Kung Hey Fat Choi, or Gung Ho Fat Choy, or Gong Xi Fa Cai?  It is my understanding all those greetings say Happy New Year.  I sure hope so.  Our Chinese friends and clients began celebrating their New Year on Sunday, February 18th and will continue for 15 days. In honor of  them we have a Lunar New Year that you might also enjoy. Thank you if you have donated.  If you are still sitting on the fence, please consider the good your donation will do. My daughter Leanne really needs folks like you to get on her team by making a donation to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. While she has raised more than $4,000, she only has until March to meet her goal of $6,100.  Please help by making a tax deductible donation of any amount. 75% of her goal goes toward patient services and research for finding a cure. It will be greatly appreciated not only by Leanne and me, but especially by those stricken with these dread diseases. I hope you're thinking Okay, you've convinced me.  I'll make a donation now.  And, remember we welcome your participation in Coffee Break. Send us your jokes, trivia, things to ponder, tips and noteworthy items.  If you have a suggestion of something you would like to see here, be sure to let us know that, too. Take care and stay in touch, Joanne Your San Francisco Bay Area Real Estate Broker    Pulic Service Announcement ...   The Hayward City Council will hold a public hearing on Tuesday, March 6 at 8 PM at City Hall, 777 B Street.  For more information re: the project you can go to the City of Hayward website www.ci.hayward.ca.us and access the Planning Commission's webpage.    Learn More about the proposed Hayward Power Plant    Now, this weeks Goodies ... Did You Know?  ~ Thanks to Ms. Barbara Jones Did You Know? This is fascinating.  No wonder it is so difficult to keep up.  No wonder this is such an exciting time to live!    Check out this video clip - you will be amazed!  And the music is cool too!   The Ring ~ Thanks to Mr. Richard DeBiaso    An older, white haired man walked into a  jewelers store one Friday evening  with a beautiful young gal at his side. He  told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.   The  jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."    At that statement, The  jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000" the jeweler said.    The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."   The  jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "by check.  I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll  write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.    Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account."    "I know," said the old man, "But let me tell you about my weekend!     A Pretty Darn Good Joke ~ Thanks to The Prairie Home Companion Newsletter How do you keep your husband from reading your mail? Put it in a folder marked "Instructions!" Rest Room Mural ~ Thanks to Ms. Barbara Jones Edge Designs is an all-women run company that designs interior office space. They had a recent opportunity to do an office project in NYC. The client allowed the women of this company a free hand in all design aspects. The client was a company that was also run by all women execs. The result, well, we all know that men never talk, never look at each other, and never laugh much in the restroom. The men's room is a serious and quiet place, but now, with the addition of one mural on the wall ... let's just says the men's restroom is a place of laughter and smiles.   A Funny First Date Story ~ Thanks to Ms. Florence Pierson If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not! We have all had bad dates, but this takes the cake.  Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first Date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took The prize! She said it was midwinter ... Snowing and quite cold ... and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had; never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she  answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance!" He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.  She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.  So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.   As the audience screamed in  laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down ... Or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing.   Jay Leno's comment.. "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off."   Excuse Me ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim Ward Cornball Chuckles  ~ Thanks to Ms. Barbara Jones I went to the bar the other night and told the 'keep, "A glass    of your finest Less, please."       "Less? Never heard of it," he said.      "C'mon, sure you have." "No, really, we don't stock it. What is it?  Some kind of foreign beer?" "I'm not sure," I replied.  "It was my doctor who mentioned it. He said I should 'drink Less."   Interesting State Facts ~ Thanks to Ms. Florence Pierson ALABAMA: Was the first place to have 9-1-1, started in.   ALASKA: One out of every 64 people has a pilot's license.   ARIZONA: Is the only state in the continental U.S. that doesn't follow Daylight Savings Time. ARKANSAS: Has the only active diamond mine in the U.S.   CALIFORNIA: Its economy is so large,if it were a country, it would rank 7th in the world. COLORADO: In 1976 it became the only state to turn down the Olympics.   CONNECTICUT: The Frisbee was invented here at Yale University.   DELAWARE: Has more scientists and engineers than any other state.   FLORIDA: At 759 square miles, Jacksonville is the US's largest city.   GEORGIA: In 1886, that pharmacist John Pemberton made the first vat of Coca-Cola. HAWAII: Hawaiians live, on average, five years longer than residents in any other state. IDAHO: TV was invented in Rigby, Idaho, in 1922.   ILLINOIS: The Chicago River is dyed green every St. Patrick's Day. INDIANA: Home to Santa Claus, Indiana, receives half million letters to Santa and Elf Jeff every year. IOWA: Winnebagos get their name from Winnebago County. Also, it is the only state that begins with two vowels.   KANSAS: Liberal, Kansas, has an exact replica of the house in The Wizard of Oz. KENTUCKY: Has more than $6 billion in gold underneath Fort Knox. LOUISIANA: Has parishes instead of counties because they were originally Spanish church units. MAINE: It's so big, it covers as many square miles as the other five New England states combined. MARYLAND: The Oujia board was created in Baltimore in 1892. MASSACHUSETTS: The Fig Newton is named after Newton, Massachusetts. MICHIGAN: Fremont, home to Gerber, is the baby food capital of the world. MINNESOTA: Bloomington's Mall of America is so big, if you spent 10 minutes in each store, you'd be there nearly four days. MISSISSIPPI: President Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot a bear here. That's how the teddy bear got its name. MISSOURI: Is the birthplace of the ice cream cone.   MONTANA: A sapphire from Montana is the Crown Jewels of England. NEBRASKA: More triplets are born here than in any other state.   NEVADA: Has more hotel rooms than any other place in the world. NEW HAMPSHIRE: Birth place of Tupperware, invented in 1938 by Earl Tupper. NEW JERSEY: Has the most shopping malls in one area in the world. NEW MEXICO: Smokey the Bear was rescued from a 1950 forest fire here. NEW YORK: Is home to the nation's oldest cattle ranch, started in 1747 in Montauk. NORTH CAROLINA: Home of the first Krispy Kreme doughnut. NORTH DAKOTA: Rigby, North Dakota, is the exact geo-graphic center of North America. OHIO: The hot dog was invented here in 1900.   OKLAHOMA: The grounds of the state capital are covered by operating oil wells. OREGON: Has the most ghost towns in the country.   PENNSYLVANIA: The smiley, :) was first used in 1980 by computer scientists at Carnegie Mellon University. RHODE ISLAND: The nation's oldest bar, the White Horse Tavern, opened here in 1673. SOUTH CAROLINA: Sumter County is home to the world's largest gingko farm. SOUTH DAKOTA: Is the only state that's never had an earthquake. TENNESSEE: Nashville's Grand Ole Opry is the longest running live radio show in the world. TEXAS: Dr. Pepper was invented in Waco back in 1885. UTAH: The first Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant opened here in 1952. VERMONT: Montpelier is the only state capital without a McDonald's. VIRGINIA: Home of the world's largest office building... the Pentagon. WASHINGTON: Seattle has twice as many college graduates as any other state. WASHINGTON D.C.: Was the first planned capital in the world. WEST VIRGINIA: Had the world's first brick paved street, Summers Street, laid in Charleston in 1870. WISCONSIN: The ice cream sundae was invented here in 1881 to get around Blue Laws prohibiting ice cream from being sold on Sundays.   WYOMING: Was the first state to allow women to vote.    Hmmm The Pilot ~ Thanks to Ms. Juanita Whiteside A woman was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes. Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.   He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, "Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your  legs?" The blind lady replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs."   Picture this: All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog!  The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!     Life Lesson: One Day at a Time ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim Knudsen The most useless thing to do ... worry The greatest Joy ... Giving The greatest loss ... Loss of self-respect The most satisfying work ... Helping others The ugliest personality trait ... Selfishness The most endangered species ... Dedicated leaders The greatest "shot in the arm" ... Encouragement The greatest problem to overcome ... Fear Most effective sleeping pill ... Peace of mind The most crippling failure disease ... Excuses The most powerful force in life ... Love The most dangerous pariah ... A gossiper The world's most incredible computer ... The brain! The worst thing to be without ... Hope The deadliest weapon ... The tongue The two most power-filled words ... "I Can" The greatest asset ... Faith The most worthless emotion ... Self-pity The most prized possession ... Integrity The most beautiful attire ... A SMILE! The most powerful channel of communication ... Prayer The most contagious spirit ... Enthusiasm The most important thing in life ...GOD   On Line ~ Thanks to Ms. Barbara Jones A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?" The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.  We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: You got Male!   Work Play ~ Thanks to Mr. Jim Knudsen "Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right.  (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?) No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt". (Are you doubting this?)   The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet. (Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out for accuracy, right?) The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes). (Yep, I knew you were going to "do" this one.) There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.  (You're not doubting this, are you?) There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious." (Yes, admit it, you are going to say . a e i o u) TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. (All you typists are going to test this out) A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. A snail can sleep for three years. (I know some people that could do this too.) Almonds are a member of the peach family. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon. If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction. Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.                              Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite! Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing. The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. (Good thing he did that). The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid. There are more chickens than people in the world. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance. Now you know everything!   Picture of the Week - Thanks to Ms. Florence Pierson Just Pencils   Thank you for being with us in this new year.  Your contributions make this page a must stop for many.  I hope you liked what we had to offer in this issue. Your comments and suggestions are always welcome.  When you come across something funny or informative and in good taste, please send it along.  I would love to include it with your name and our thanks.  May 2007 bring you all you hope for and much more. Make it a good week, talk to those you love, and come back soon. Joanne Joanne L. Gardiner, Broker e-PRO Realtor® Advantage Realty Clock Tower Commerce Center 3205 Whipple Road Union City, California 94587 (510) 429-4800 Our primary services in the San Francisco Bay Area are: East bay real estate,  Hayward real estate, Castro Valley real estate,  Danville real estate, Dublin real estate, Fremont real estate,  Newark real estate, Niles real estate, Pleasanton real estate, San Leandro real estate, San Lorenzo real estate, San Ramon real estate, Sunol real estate and Union City real estate. Peninsula real estate, Palo Alto real estate, Foster City real estate, San Mateo real estate, San Carlos real estate, Burlingame real estate, Belmont real estate, Half Moon Bay real estate Types of real estate in which we specialize:  houses, condominiums, townhomes, garden homes, PUDs, single family homes, mobile homes, module homes, duets, residential income property, duplexes, tri-plexes, four-plexes, small apartment complexes and special use properties.

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